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Why Children
Don't Tell



Listed below are some of the reasons why many children

don't tell anyone they are being or have been sexually abused



FEAR

-Being threatened & manipulated


LOVE AND/OR KNOW THE PERSON ABUSING THEM

-Don't want that "loved one" to get into trouble

-Want the acceptance & approval of him or her


SHAME / EMBARRASSMENT

-Don't want anyone to know


BLAME THEMSELVES

-Believes it has to be their fault somehow


GUILT


LACK OF UNDERSTANDING


CONFUSION

-Mix of confusing thoughts & feelings


TOLD THIS HAPPENDED BECAUSE THEY ARE SPECIAL


TOLD THEY WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME


HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO RESPECT ADULTS / AUTHORITY FIGURES

-Believe they should not question adults / authority figures



THINKS / FEELS LIKE EVERYONE KNOWS

-That people can tell just from looking at them


DON'T WANT TO UPSET A LOVED ONE

-The Non-Abuser Parent, for example


TO PROTECT A LOVED ONE OR PET FROM ABUSE OR HARM

-Brother, Sister, Mom, Dog, etc...

-"If you tell, I will hurt ______."

-Child thinking that if they let this happen to them & not tell, then maybe it won't happen to someone else they care about


DON'T THINK ANYONE WILL BELIEVE THEM

-That's what they are being told


FEAR OF WHAT A LOVED ONE MIGHT DO TO THE ABUSER


PRIVATE MATTER THAT SHOULD NOT BE TALKED ABOUT


MAYBE IT IS NORMAL AND HAPPENS TO ALL CHILDREN


KNOWS IT IS NOT NORMAL AND FEELS VERY ALONE IN THE WORLD

-This can't possibly be happening to anyone else


THEY TOLD SOMEONE ONCE & WAS EITHER NOT BELIEVED AND/OR NOT PROTECTED



Nobody Talks About This Kind of Thing



Understanding why is crucial. It shows the importance of talking to your child about this very sensitive topic. Ensure the communication line is open between you and your child on this specific topic. They need to feel safe to tell. Children need to know they can come to you & that you will believe them.



SpeakingOut against Child Sexual Abuse, Inc.




Phone: (865) 230-6059
Email: susansd@speakingout-csa.com

P.O. Box 1605
Seymour, TN 37865

EIN: 26-2144172