Message To Survivors
Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse...
                           Don't be a Victim any longer... BECOME A SURVIVOR!  
                       The Next Potential Goal... DO MORE THAN JUST SURVIVE!

                            It was NOT YOUR FAULT!

Regardless of how old you were, regardless of how long it went on & regardless what your Abuser or anyone else has ever told you, it was not your fault.  You were a
CHILD...under the age of 18!  You were taken advantage of by someone in Authority over you.  The only shame in that is that of your Abuser.

Please Do More than Just Hear these Words... BELIEVE IT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART!  It's Truth.

There was nothing that you did to cause your abuse.  There was nothing wrong with you why you were picked out.  It is as simple as this... Your Abuser either had
access or gained access to you.  The raping, molesting & exploiting of children is their (the abuser's) issue; a choice they made.  You did nothing wrong.  So when
you question why you, why you may not have told anyone or why you didn't or couldn't stop them, remember that you were just a Child.
Do More Than Just "Survive"...
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have
come that they may have life and have it to the full."
(John 10:10)

Something was Stolen from You... Your Innocence!  But to let it destroy you
means "the thief" has accomplished exactly what he set out to do.

"Those who created yesterday's pain do not control tomorrow's potential. Satan
discusses your past. That appears to be the only information he has. Jesus
discusses your future. He enters your life to end your past and give birth to
tomorrow."
Reveal the Truth... Uncover the Crime committed against You when you were a Child. Don't keep it a secret
any longer.  There's no shame in it for You, regardless of how it may feel.  Again, you were a Child...an Innocent
Victim.  
But that doesn't mean that you have to remain a Victim for the rest of your life.

Talk About It... There is Healing in being able to talk about the violation you endured as a Child.  Find that
person or group that you feel safe with & trust to discuss your abuse openly.
The purpose is to face what
happened & move forward
.  Because of the sensitivity of this topic, if you fail to find that right person/group at first,
try again.  There are people out there that are willing to listen.  
You Are Not Alone.

Seek Professional Help (If Needed/As Needed)... Support Group, Therapy, etc… You can also do your
own research to find the right avenue for you.  For example, you may want to talk to your local Pastor about
resources in your area.

Do Something About It... Get involved in the fight against Child Sexual Abuse...whatever that means for you.  
Fight hard against the very thing that "tried" to destroy you.  Help break the cycle of this horrible crime...Save a Child!

Truly Heal, Overcome, Conquer... The act of sex was created by God & is intended to be a beautiful thing
between a husband and wife.  Society (people) have misused sex & distorted it in just about every way possible
you can think of.  One of these ways is by the Raping, Molesting & Exploiting of children.  It was never meant to be
used as a weapon against anyone, especially innocent children.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:
20)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called
according to His purpose."
(Romans 8:28)

God's word says He will take ALL things & use them for good, but YOU have to go to HIM for comfort, healing &
guidance!
The Effects of Child Sexual Abuse...
When a child is sexually abused, the affects are immediate and more often than not will extend into adulthood.  
A book called
Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse by Carolyn Ainscough & Kay Toon says and I quote...

"Begin sexually abused is like being involved in a disaster,
a disaster that may be a one-time incident or may be repeated over many years."

In addition, the book states
"Sexual abuse has immediate and long-term affects.  Without help, these problems can continue indefinitely.
With help, Survivors can and do overcome these problems."

The point is that YOU CAN OVERCOME these problems.

As you read this section, what we want you to know is that it is normal if you experience some of the effects listed below considering the traumatic experience(s) that
you faced as a child.  But again,
God can heal you.  He places people in strategic places that can help you.  
As stated before, Seek Professional Help if needed & as needed.

And Remember... Your Creator is the Ultimate Healer.

"Effects of Sexual Abuse"

Fears
Anxiety
Phobias
Nervousness
Nightmares
Sleep Problems
Depression
Shame
Guilt
Feeling like a victim
Lack of self-confidence
Feeling different from others
Feeling self-conscious
Feeling dirty
Feeling unable to act or change situations
Obsessed with cleaning or washing
Constant worry
Suicide attempts
Self-harming
Blackouts
Fits
Not remembering what has happened for hours or days (blanking out)
Binge-eating
Self-induced vomiting
Compulsive eating
Anorexia nervosa
No interest in sex
Fear of sex
Obsessed with sex
Avoiding specific sexual activities
Feeling unable to say “No” to sex
Aggressive sexual behavior
Flashbacks
Hearing the abuser’s voice when he or she isn’t there
Seeing the abuser’s face when he or she isn’t there
Confusion about sexual orientation (homosexual or heterosexual)
Confusion about sexual identity (male or female)
Unable to get close to people
Marrying young to get away from home
Marital problems
Unable to love, or show affection to, children
Excessive fear for children
Alcohol problems
Drug problems
Employment problems
Begin re-victimized
Criminal Involvement
Needing to being control
Delinquency
Bullying
Clinging and being extremely dependent
Abusing others
Aggressive behavior
Anger
Hostility
Problems communicating
Distrusting people
Working too hard
Difficulty in judging people’s trustworthiness
Physical problems

Source: "Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse" [Book by Carolyn Ainscough & Kay Toon]
Resources...
Be sure to click on Resources for additional information.
"The World is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people
who don't do anything about it..."

Albert Einstein
America... A Safe Place for Children!
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"A Safe Place"
Workshop

Crash Course on the Crime
of Child Sexual Abuse
[Awareness & Prevention]

Workshop Info Sheet
(PDF Format)

Bring Workshop to Your Area
(PDF Format)
Susan Suafoa-Dinino,
President/Founder of
SpeakingOut available for...

  1. Speaking Engagements
  2. Child Sexual Abuse
    Awareness/Prevention
    Workshops called "A
    Safe Place"

SpeakingOut also available
for...

  • Setting up an Information
    Table at Eventsrmation]
“Imagine if every ADULT who has
ever been molested as a child
recognized they were not alone.  
Imagine if every ADULT who has ever
been molested as a child let go of a
shame that was never theirs to carry.  
Imagine if every ADULT who has ever
been molested as a child found their
voice.  Imagine if every ADULT who
has ever been molested as a child
joined hands and told their story.  Our
country needs us to speak the truth,
because we have a nation of adults
doubting if there is really a problem or
that there even is an epidemic.  This
journey of honesty is not only to help
heal ourselves but to protect this
generation of children and the next
generation and the next.  Sexual Abuse
of Children can be Stopped.  It needs a
voice.  Our voice.”
 -- Randa Fox,
NOOW / Not On Our Watch
(CoFounder) @
notonourwatch.net
As pertaining to
the crime of
Child Sexual Abuse...

Innocence is
NOT Lost...
it's Stolen!
It is my belief that every Child deals with Sexual Abuse in their own way as each Child has their own method of coping with this kind of ultimate violation & betrayal.

Likewise, every Adult Survivor will have their own way of dealing with the violations they endured as children.  In other words, coping mechanisms & steps toward
healing vary depending on the individual person.  What works for one person may not work for another.

With that being said, the suggestions on the next few pages are just that… Suggestions that represent what has helped and is currently helping me to cope with
the tragedies in my life as related to this crime, as well as in my children’s lives.  I truly hope this information is of some assistance to you as well, but at a
minimum, that it offers words of encouragement.  Know this… You are Not Alone!  

                                                                                    Susan Suafoa-Dinino (President/Founder)
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What Every Parent
Should Know
"There is healing
(or at least some
healing) in being able
to fight against that
very thing that tried to
destroy you... tried,
being the key word."

Susan Suafoa-Dinino,
President/Founder
SpeakingOut
                                                                                                    One Way to Look at Trauma

Regardless of what that is for each of us personally (i.e. Child Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, etc…)... a way to turn around and use those horrible life experiences to
help others.  When we go through something traumatic, as hard as it is to deal with at that time & possibly currently, we become very knowledgeable on that issue,
subject, crime, etc...  The pain we have and may still be experiencing has not been for nothing if we are able to pick ourselves back up and fight against (not in the
literal sense) that very “thing” that tried to destroy us; tried being the key word.  There is some healing in removing some of the focus from ourselves & using some
of that pain and knowledge to make a difference in the lives of others.  In my experience… People tend to listen to people who have been where they are.
                                                                                    Susan Suafoa-Dinino, President/Founder of SpeakingOut  
SpeakingOut News
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1st Quarter 2014

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